


I'll Take Care of You

by MiddleofNowhere92



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Azula (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Depression, Dom/sub Undertones, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Masturbation, Past Rape/Non-con, References to Depression, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Sokka (Avatar) Has ADHD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:07:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26186902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiddleofNowhere92/pseuds/MiddleofNowhere92
Summary: We all know Azula is an insufferable perfectionist, right? Welll, her boyfriend cheats on her and announces to half the university that he did it because she sucked at sex. Ya'll know Azula doesn't gonna handle criticism well, so she goes on a quest to become perfect at the one thing she's apparently not good at. Maybe a certain backbender can help her out...And maybe they both help each other out along the way.
Relationships: Azula & Sokka (Avatar), Azula/Sokka (Avatar)
Comments: 44
Kudos: 147





	1. I know you've been hurt by someone else

**Author's Note:**

> The fic no one asked for with the ship no one asked for. What can I say, I'm a people pleaser...
> 
> This is such a slow burn, so buckle up kids, we're in for a long bumpy ride. 
> 
> Once we get to the smut I'll update the rating and tags. 
> 
> They really are a cursed ship. They were giving me a headache until my last brain cell came up with this.

Mai, Ty Lee and I were walking back from Intro to Earth Kingdom Lit. We were passing the Agni Kai house so I spoke up, “Hey Ladies, let’s stop in. I need to pick up my laptop charger from Chan.” Mai rolled her eyes, but Ty Lee hurriedly skipped in front of us and into the frat house. 

Mai decided to wait outside. Ty Lee was talking to some guy whose name I couldn’t remember. I walked up the stairs and pushed open the door to Chan’s room. There on the bed, under the covers, was Chan and some little freshman that was gonna regret the day she was born. Chan stuttered, “Az-Azula what are you doing here?” 

I gripped his desk chair to keep from strangling him, “I should be asking this little whore the same thing.” The girl looked like she was about to burst into tears. I very calmly walked over and opened his second floor window. I grabbed his new macbook and flung it out, next was his Iphone, then the Xbox. I was almost satisfied as I heard them crack on the sidewalk below. The girl had run crying. Chan was trying to grab my arms. 

He spoke, “Azula, can you not be fucking nuts for once?” I glared and then headbutted him. He released my arms and I flipped his desk over just for shits and giggles. I paused at the mirror fixing a hair that had strayed from my bun, before walking back downstairs. Chan had put some pants on and followed after me, “Azula, let’s just talk about this.” Some of his frat brothers were gathering around. 

I clenched and unclenched my fist, “What is there to talk about, Chan? We had an agreement to date and fornicate monogamously. You broke said agreement, so as far as I’m concerned, we’re done here.” I pushed out of the house and Chan grabbed my arm. 

Seriously? I spun on him and spat, “If you put your hands on me one more time, I’ll make sure you never rise from the ashes of your shame and humiliation!” Mai got up when she saw me. Ty Lee had heard the commotion and was now walking to us. Other kids that happened to be walking by stopped to gawk. Chan called, “Geez Azula, I wouldn’t have to cheat if you were this crazy in bed.” 

I let out a self deprecating laugh. I pretended to wipe the corners of my eyes for tears, “Really Chan? You’re saying it’s my fault you cheated?” The idiot responded, “Well yeah, I thought crazy girls were supposed to be good in bed, but you’re just a prude.” Mai grabbed me and pulled me away. I heard the distinct sound of someone being punched and possibly a nose cracking. Ty Lee ran up a few seconds later shaking out her hand. 

We walked in silence for a few minutes heading back to the Kyoshi house. We stopped at a crosswalk waiting for our turn. Ty Lee questioned, “Hey Azula, isn’t that your laptop charger?” I turned and saw my charger in the exterior pocket of my backpack. I responded, “Huh, would you look at that.”


	2. I can tell by the way you carry yourself

I sat in bed that night staring at the ceiling. Chan’s words were nagging me. Was I that shitty in bed? I thought we had normal sexual relations. We had sex once a week lasting for about 20 minutes. He had never once complained, he always came. 

I had never been unsatisfactory at anything in my life. I had a 4.0 GPA, I scored 1599 on the SAT, I had 4 black belts. I turned, I could see Ty Lee scrolling through her phone on her bunk. She was always talking about how much she liked sex and how fun it was. Hell, even Mai would occasionally talk about the shit her and Kei Lo did. Maybe there was something wrong with me. 

I texted Ty Lee to avoid waking the 48 other girls that were trying to sleep.

_I think what Chan said is right about me. I am a prude._

I heard Ty Lee let out a breath as she responded.

_What?? Azula, srsly. Chan is just a jackass. If stuff wasn’t ideal in the bedroom he could have talked to you about it and fixed it._

I supposed she was right, but I couldn’t shake the nagging feeling. I couldn’t even toss and turn or I would keep Mai up in the bottom bunk. I had had sex with two other guys. I lost my virginity at 16 to Zhao. It had been particularly uneventful. It was uncomfortable at best and painful at worst. We had sex a few times after that, but it hadn’t particularly garnered any interest from me. 

I had messed around a bit with Jet last year. He was at least exciting, but it seemed to happen so quickly. Moving into a sorority house had definitely messed with me. I had actually really liked masturbating, but that was difficult to do when you slept in a room with 49 other people. 

The next morning I sat in Normative Political Theory 222. I hadn’t slept much, Chan’s words still gnawing at me. I heard the professor say, “Class, next week is our final. I know for some of you, this class has come easily, but for others you really need to put in some serious work and study.”

Just like that a lightbulb clicked in my head. Zuzu always complained that everything came naturally to me. Maybe sex was the one thing that didn’t. Maybe if I just studied I could get better at it.

My mind kept mulling over this information. The sorority house was not an ideal place to study sex and I very well couldn’t do it in a school building. I walked out of class and headed back to the Kyoshi house. I hung my lanyard off my bunk and then I saw a black key dangling from my key ring. 

My brother was off studying abroad, which left his room empty. His idiot roommate would be home, but I could brush him off easily enough. Zuko had left me the key incase of emergency. I shot him off a quick email. 

_Zuzu,_

_I’m staying at your apartment this weekend. I need some peace and quiet to study for finals._

_Kthanksbye._

Mai was spending the weekend at Kei Lo’s and Ty Lee was planning a mixer. She excused me since Chan was going to be there with his other frat brothers. I didn’t like that it seemed like I was hiding from him, but I knew it was better if I didn’t attend. 

I got Zuzu’s response during class Friday morning, not that it mattered. He was who knows where, so he couldn’t stop me. 

_Fine. I told Sokka, so you don’t scare the crap out of him. Don’t be a bitch to him and don’t fuck with my stuff._

_Everything ok?_

I rolled my eyes. I didn’t sign up to have a whole conversation with my brother. I quickly shot back a response. 

_Yep, everything’s peachy keen big brother. Don’t worry, I won’t fuck with your rooomate or your stuff too badly ;)_

I walked back across the quad. The pretty fall days were over, winter was well on its way. I hugged my jacket in closer to me and ducked my face in my scarf. I heard a giggle. I glanced over to see Chan walking with his arm around Meng, laughing as if it wasn’t fucking freezing. I must have been glancing over for too long, because I walked into something solid.


	3. If you let me, here's what I'll do

-Sokka-

I was on the phone with Katara listening to her complain about bio or whatever weird nerd shit class she was taking. Did someone just walk into me? I quickly hung up and glanced down to see Azula dusting herself off. I grinned, “Hey Kazoola, nice bumping into you. Get it? Get it?” She did that thing where she scrunched her eyebrows and looked like she was trying to light me on fire with her mind. 

I held my hands up, “Yeesh, tough crowd. Are you ok?” Her amber eyes rolled, “I’m fine, peasant.” I let out a laugh, “If you say so, Princess.” I did a mock bow just to bother her even more. Chan walked up to me and gave me a bro hug. He raised an eyebrow at me, “I didn’t realize Sokka the ‘backbender’ was into frigid bitches dude.” Azula turned and walked away. She called over her shoulder, “Have fun getting HPV, Chan!” The poor girl next to him looked like she wanted to melt into the ground. 

I could have swore ‘Zula and Chan had been dating since last year. Maybe I should lay off the cactus juice. I easily caught up with Azula. I slowed down so I was keeping in time with her smaller steps. She broke the silence, “Can we please not talk about this? I don’t need a big brother talk right now. I’m rather enjoying Zuzu being gone and pretending I’m an only child.” 

I held my chin and pretended to think and then after a few seconds declared, “Absolutely not! You and Chan, you aren’t going out anymore?” I could feel her glaring at me, “Clearly not, Captain Obvious.” I questioned, “Is that why you wanna stay at the apartment?” She spat, “Does it matter?” I paused as the bells chimed from the clock tower, “Guess not, but ‘Zula if you need anything just let me know, ‘kay?” 

I didn’t wait for an answer, because I doubted Azula would give me one. I turned and started heading back towards campus. I remembered and yelled back, “See ya later.” She didn’t turn around, but I’m pretty sure she heard my loud mouth, because everyone in the immediate area glared at me, like what kind of idiot would be loud on a Friday morning. This idiot, that’s who. 

I jogged across the quad and made it to the Jasmine Dragon in time to start my shift. I tossed my apron on. The morning rush was already over, there were a few people around studying. Mai was poking a paper cup with a knife since there weren't any customers currently. Shouldn't she be cleaning or something? I quickly swiped the knife away from her. She let out a breath, but just pulled a pocket knife out of her apron pocket. 

I leaned against the counter and said, “I bumped into your cult leader today.” Mai kept poking the poor defenseless cup and questioned, “Charles Manson?” I moaned, “What the hell is wrong with you? Azula, I bumped into Azula.” Mai looked at me from the side of her eyes, “And?” 

I continued, “Aaand. Chan was there, with some girl that was not Azula.” Mai finally turned to face me, “Did she have frizzy ass hair and buck teeth?” I rolled my eyes, “You make her sound like the bride of Frankenstein, but yes, her hair was frizzy.”

Mai briefly nodded, “Uh yeah, Azula found him in bed with her earlier this week.” How had I not heard about this already? I asked incredulously, “And she let him live?” A few students threw annoyed glances at me for being loud. Mai was now cutting the cup into small pieces, “Apparently. Personally, I would have shanked him after he basically announced to his whole frat that she was a prude.” That explained his comment to me. 

I glanced over at Mai, “You do seem the type to shank. Azula, however, seems like the psychological terrorist type. Maybe she’s just gonna let him sit with his guilt until he becomes so paranoid he loses his mind.” Mai let out a huff that I had learned was basically her laugh. I continued, “See this is exactly why fuck buddies are better than relationships. No one gets their feelings hurt, no dealing with crazy exes…”

Lu Ten walked out of the back office, “Sokka, please! Don’t talk about your sex life! It drives away customers.” I shot back, "That's not true! Girls come here just to see me, some guys too actually." He let out a sigh and turned and went back in the office. 

In between ringing up customers, my mind drifted back to Azula. A lot of people thought she was a bitch or scary or whatever, but she wasn’t really any of those things. Ok, maybe she was a bitch, but in a good way, ya know? She was wicked smart, had a sense of humor and insanely ambitious. Literally, ambitious to the point of insanity, Slytherin for sure. 

I think it was time for me to redo the Pottermore quiz. Mai and I had both gotten Ravenclaw last year, but I think I should tell the sorting hat that I’m really a Gryffindor.


	4. I'll take care of you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You an intellectual: "This is taking too long to get to the sex."
> 
> Me a peasant: "I'm trying my best ok!" (Sobs in mental breakdown)
> 
> Upping the rating for this chapter to E and updating tags. 
> 
> This ship gives me a headache. I think both of them would have a decent vocabulary and now my head just hurts from trying to be smart. 
> 
> Also, since I reference both characters, Ming is the guard that is nice to Uncle Iroh when he gets locked up. Meng is the girl that has a crush on Aang in the Aunt Wu episode. 
> 
> Aand I literally googled the things I have Azula google and used the actual results #scarred4lyfe

-Azula-

I packed a small duffle, grabbed my backpack and then ducked out of the Kyoshi house. A lot of other students were walking with backpacks for a Friday night, probably as a result of upcoming finals. For once I was happy Zuzu and I lived on the same side of campus. I couldn’t stand a long walk in the cold right now. 

I walked up the steps to his apartment. The stairwell smelled like old beer. I unlocked apartment 512 and was greeted by a very fluffy white polar dog with huge blue eyes. I scratched behind his ears. The apartment seemed dark and empty. The Peasant must be out being a degenerate. I turned down the hall and walked into what I remembered to be Zuko’s room. 

It was clean as a result of our upbringing. Father would beat our ass if we left a mess ever. I still sniffed the sheets and they smelled like detergent. I dropped my duffle and threw my coat and scarf on his desk chair. It was weird being in such a quiet place. 

I could hear the echoes of students in the stairwell, but that was really it. I hadn’t had this much quiet all semester. I pulled my laptop out of my backpack and flopped on the bed. I opened an incognito tab in chrome. What should I type in? Sex? Porn? How to be good at sex?

I caught a pair of blue eyes staring at me and hurriedly shooed the dog out of the room. This wasn’t appropriate for him. I laid back down on the bed. I tried to come up with a strategy. 

If I watched porn, I could figure out what I was doing wrong and then correct it. I googled porn and clicked on the first link that popped up. How fucking horrifying. I think I just scarred myself for life. The first video was titled _letting my stepdad cum inside of me_. The next one looked like anal. 

This was going to be harder than I thought. Why were there so many videos about fucking your step family? Is that what people were into?

I made myself watch. If I pussied out now, I would just be the prude Chan said I was. I could feel my forehead wrinkling as I watched. It just seemed so unappealing? The bodies just slammed together. The girls were like outrageously wet. I had never gotten like that. Was that what was wrong with me? 

I woke up a few hours later with a start. I heard moaning, but my laptop screen was black. The moaning got louder and I heard, “Sokka, harder! There, right there, that’s it! Sokka, don't stop!” I internally groaned. It wasn’t fair. Sokka barely had a braincell, yet he was considered a sex god on campus. 

I sat in the darkness pouting. The apparent porn scene across the hall was picking up volume. Everyone on campus called Sokka the “backbender.” Like who lets themselves be called that? I can’t believe so many girls fall for that big idiot. He was a big, muscular, handsome idiot, but an idiot nonetheless. 

I could hear the bed creaking across the hall. Sokka was a big guy, he absolutely towered over me and he was built. Even if he was wearing a hoodie and sweatpants, you could tell that he spent a lot of time at the gym. I huffed a piece of hair out of my face. Why was I thinking about him? I heard his headboard slamming against the wall. 

I rubbed my thighs together and I felt wetness gather on my panties. Why was I getting wet thinking about him, but I was perfectly unbothered watching hours of porn? This was ridiculous. But most of the articles I had read earlier said masturbating regularly was important, so I let my hand drift down and rub. 

I suddenly felt overwhelmingly hot. I kicked the covers off and spread my legs wider. I rubbed my index finger against my covered clit and pussy lips. I let my palm press against my clit. I needed more friction, so I wiggled out of my panties. I let my fingers drift up and down my wet folds. I closed my eyes and swiped my thumb on the under side of my clit. A chill went down my spine and my toes curled. 

I couldn’t help but picture Sokka over me. I bit my lip as I imagined his massive frame above mine. I thought about his big fingers rubbing my pussy instead of my own. I could feel myself getting wetter as I rubbed. I heard an obscene squelch as I twisted my index finger in and out of myself. I put my other hand underneath my t-shirt and cupped my tit. I grabbed it and just felt the weight of it, palming it in my hand. It would look so small in Sokka’s grasp. 

I squeezed my breast tighter, still slowly twisting my index finger in and out, letting the top of my hand press against my clit. I pinched my nipple as my clit rubbed my hand at the same time. I kept up the rhythm, rolling my hips faster, feeling so close to my peak. I pictured Sokka’s tan cock rubbing against my pussy as my index finger pushed in and I felt myself shudder and cum. 

I let out a few shaky breaths as I came down. I had pussy juice all over my thighs and hand. I could feel some still oozing out of me. I wiped what I could with my panties. As I drifted off to sleep I heard the girl across the hall announce she was cumming too. 

I woke up as the sun started to peek through the cheap blinds. I threw on a pair of black leggings, a thick burgundy sweater and my uggs. I briskly walked to the sorority house and ate breakfast. I was always the first one to eat, no one else got up this early. I grabbed some premade sandwiches from the fridge and headed back to the apartment. I stepped in the hallway just as a tall girl was exiting 512. I think she was on the volleyball team. Ming, was it? 

The polar dog eagerly greeted me when I walked in. The apartment seemed completely different from yesterday. I could hear food cooking and music playing. Sokka called from the kitchen, “Foof! Leave ‘Zula alone!” Sokka poked his head out and said, “Hey roomie, sorry for the volume last night. Help yourself to a pancake.”

I rolled my eyes and headed towards Zuko’s room. Was the Sea Prune always this obnoxious? The last thing I wanted to be reminded of was what I had done last night thinking about him. I shut the door and took off my outer layers. It was time to resume studying.


	5. I've loved and I've lost

-Sokka-

I was at my desk writing a paper that was due on Monday when the fucking hippy ass neighbors started with their shitty music, “Don’t fall in love with the traveling girl. She’ll leave you broke and broken hearted…” Pounding on my wall was useless. They shared a balcony with Zuko. I’m sure ‘Zula would be irritated too, so I might as well just solve it for the both of us. 

I walked in the other bedroom and to my surprise ‘Zula was quietly laying on the bed on her stomach. Headphones were on and she was looking intently at her laptop. She shot me an annoyed glance when I walked in, but I was already on a mission. I opened up the balcony door and climbed over the low divider. I pounded on my neighbors’ sliding glass door, “Chong! Shut the fuck up! No one wants to hear your dirty hippie crap!”

The doors opened and a puff of smoke came out, “Dude, Sokka, chill man. You’re always so bent out of shape.” I facepalmed, “I wouldn’t be so bent out of shape if you guys didn’t play your hippie crap all day long.” Lily popped out next to Chong, “Sokka, we’ll keep it down. Hope you had fun with your lady friend last night.” She winked and with that they were walking back into the weed cloud they called an apartment. 

I stepped over the divider and onto our side of the balcony. I looked in and I could see exactly what Azula was looking at on her laptop. She probably thought her body blocked out the screen from my view, but being 6 ft gave me a better vantage point. 

I calmly walked back in the room, shut the door and then snagged her laptop from her. I held it up towards the ceiling and questioned, “Azula Sozin! Are you reading a Cosmo article about sex?”

She reached for the laptop, but I easily held it out of her reach. She sat back on the bed and folded her arms, pouting at me. I started scrolling through the article, “OOOH, this is too good.” I sat on the desk chair and continued perusing. ‘Zula snarked, “Don’t you have something to do?” 

I answered, “Absolutely _not_. Why would I do school work when I can read about how men want women to smize when receiving a blowie? Like the fuck? Half the time we’re just grateful to be getting one, I’m not expecting the girl to smile while she does it.” I rolled my eyes, but then l glanced over at Azula, “Why are you reading this shit anyway? Cause of Chan?”

Azula was still sitting with her legs folded on the bed. She started picking at her sweater, “Does it matter?” Her voice didn’t have any bite to it, which was weird. I had never seen Azula like this- small, tiny. I leaned back, “Of course it matters. Chan is an idiot. The Azula I know wouldn’t let one ‘feeble minded peasant’ get to her.” 

She was pulling her sleeves over her hands, “You’re the only peasant. Chan is just a jerk.” I let out a laugh, “Wow, Princess, that warms my heart.” She rolled her eyes, “I guess when it first happened I did want to prove Chan wrong. Prove that I’m not awful like he says I am, but now, I just feel like I’m missing out on something.” 

She blew a stray piece of hair out of her face, “Everybody loves sex and I’m just here like what’s so great about it? It’s uncomfortable, or it hurts and it’s messy.” I cut in, “Yeah, but it’s also fun and exciting and if you’re doing it right it feels amazing.” She let out a breath, “Guess I’m not doing it right then.” 

I shook my head, “C’mon ‘Zula, that’s not what I meant. It just takes time to find out what you like and don’t like. You just need more practice, that’s all.” She hugged her legs into her chest, “Easy for you to say. Everyone wants you. Hardly anyone wanted me before, and no one’s going to want me now. Not only am I a heinous bitch, but I’m a prude, to top it off.” 

I argued, “That’s not true.” She shot me a dirty look, so I conceded, “Ok, so you’re a bit tempestuous, but you’re so fucking smart and when you care about people, you really honest to spirits care about them and you’re really pretty.” 

Her eyebrows drew together, “What?” I closed the laptop and put it on the desk, “You’re pretty.” The confusion was still on her face so I continued, “Ya know, beautiful, cute, attractive, fetching, prepossessing-” I was cut off by a pillow flying towards my face. Azula glared at me, “Don’t patronize me.” 

I ran a hand through my wolf’s tail, “I’m complimenting you, not patronizing you, big difference.” She rolled her eyes, “OK, well, can we forget about this little heart to heart and just resume our indifference for each other?” She probably meant to sound bitchy, but it just wasn’t there. 

I answered, “Absolutely fucking not. Come on, I’m sure I can help you somehow.” ‘Zula let herself flop on the bed and huffed, “Yeah sure, unless you’re going to have sex with me and show me the ‘amazing’ stuff I’m missing out on, I don’t think there’s anything you can do.” 

I surprised myself by answering, “I can do that.” Azula was still staring up at the ceiling, “I was kidding you dum-dum.” I responded more confidently, “Well, I wasn’t.” She still was watching the ceiling fan, like it held the key to all the mysteries of life, “Are you just fucking with me?” I leaned back in the chair, “No, but I would like to be.” 

Another pillow was lobbed at my head. I grinned, “I mean, if you’re interested, we can try it.” She was now sitting up looking at me. Her head was adorably tilted to the side and I had never seen her look more confused, “Why would you do that?” I shrugged,”You’re no fun to mess with when you’re like this.” I could almost see the wheels turning in her head. I got up and headed for the door, “Let me know if you change your mind. If not, I’m sure Cosmo will get you on the right track.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favorite chapter so far just because of the nomads being the next door neighbors, like I can just picture Sokka getting so pissed, so they will continue to make appearances.


	6. I've asked about you and they told me things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was posting everyday, but I have the attention span of a fly so I'm switching to once a week. 
> 
> I reference 70s music in this chapter for the youths that don't get the references. I'm not linking the songs because I don't think anyone cares that much. 
> 
> I went back and switched Sokka's husky to a polar dog (in atla it's smaller than a polar bear dog). 
> 
> The drink Azula has at the bar is based on a Mexican drink that's spicy. It's pretty similar to a bloody mary.

-Azula-

I was pacing in Zuko’s room thinking over what Sokka had said, what he had offered. No one else was going to offer it to me. It made logical sense… right?

I heard the Peasant yell from across the hall, “ ‘Zula quit thinking so hard! I can feel you overthinking from here.” I rolled my eyes and blew a stupid piece of hair out of my face. He was so irritating. 

I told myself, OK Azula, let’s not be a little bitch about this. We can do this. Before I could change my mind I walked down the hall to the Peasant’s room. His door was already open. He was sitting at his bed surrounded by books, notebooks and his laptop. 

I stayed in the doorway and said, “OK, let’s do it.” Sokka raised an eyebrow at me, “Are you sure?” I rolled my eyes and was half tempted to stomp my foot, “Of course, I’m sure.” A grin spread on his face, “Sweet, let’s go out tonight.” I folded my arms one over the other, “I agreed to sex, not a date.” 

The Sea Prune had the audacity to look at me like I was the moron in this situation and shook his head, “Oh you, sweet summer child. Lesson 1- sex is more than just physical, it’s mental.” He tapped his temple, “We’re gonna go out and get in the mood first, like mental foreplay. What’d you think? I was just gonna fuck you right here like some crappy porno?”

Well yeah, that’s exactly what I thought, but I kept that to myself. Instead I asked, “We’re going out on campus?” He shook his head, his ponytail moving, “Nah, this is a covert operation. We’re going off campus. Be ready around 10 yeah?” I drawled out, “Sure.” 

I turned and went back to the other bedroom. This was an odd turn of events. I had just kind of expected that we would just get it over with. That’s what the sex I had had in the past was like. I couldn’t recall engaging in “mental foreplay” previously, whatever the Agni that was. 

I laid down and tried to relax. Maybe a nap would help. I closed my eyes and started drifting off to sleep when I heard singing coming from next door, “Even if you’re lost, you can’t lose the love that’s in your heart. And even when you’re far away love makes sure you’ll never be apart.” I smirked when I heard Sokka from down the hall say, “Oh for fuck’s sake.” I curled on my side and gave into sleep. 

I woke up a few hours later and grabbed one of the sandwiches I had taken earlier. I was still confused about this whole, “mental foreplay” thing. I thought guys just, you know, threw themselves at the opportunity to have sex. The Peasant hadn’t said where we were going and I didn’t want to ask any questions. 

I quickly walked to the Kyoshi house to get the things I would need. Most of the girls were already out partying or studying. I cursed the cold as I walked back to the apartment. The dog wagged and bounced on the balls of his feet as I made my way in. As I walked past the Peasant’s room I could see that he was back sitting at his desk on his laptop. 

I tossed off my coat and scarf and then laid my clothing options on the bed. I bit my lip trying to decide between a white top or a cropped black tube top. I really shouldn’t be thinking that hard about this. It’s not like I had to impress anyone. The Peasant had already agreed to sex. I suppose he could take it back though or maybe this was all a big joke and he would laugh about it with Zuko and the rest of his idiotic friends later. 

“The black one seems more your aesthetic.” I glanced up to see Sokka in the doorway. He was leaning against it holding a bowl of noodles in one hand and chopsticks in the other. He winked and then turned and left. He was so infuriating, just giving his opinion, like I fucking cared.

I took my makeup bag and sat in front of Zuko’s mirror and applied primer. I opened up Spotify and searched for a 70s playlist. Simon and Garfunkel started playing. I grinned as I heard Sokka call out, “Don’t you start with the hippie crap too!” I grinned and answered innocently, “Whatever do you mean? This is classic music from a cultural revolution.” I heard an “Amen sister” come from next door. Sokka groaned, “Your brother’s right you know, you are sadistic.” 

I put on foundation and started singing along to “California Dreaming” by the Mamas and the Papas. I could hear Sokka grumbling in the other room. Bothering him was almost as easy as getting under Zuko’s skin. I steadied my hand as I applied winged liner. I finished off with nude lip gloss and setting spray. I didn’t see the point in getting too done up when we were just going to be messing around later. 

I took my hair down from it’s bun just to brush it out and put it back in place. I pinned back my bangs and then got dressed. I slipped on a basic pair of black panties, I doubted the Sea Prune would notice them anyway. I put on the black top and wiggled into a pair of grey ripped jeans. I slipped on a burgundy cardigan and a pair of black booties. 

I stood in front of the mirror and fidgeted trying to hook the clasp on my black choker. “Here, I got it.” I turned and Sokka took the clasps from my hands and easily hooked it, something that should have been much more difficult for his massive hands. He smirked down at me, “Ready?” 

He turned and started walking down the hall and I followed behind him. My direct eye line hit below his shoulder blades. He just took up so much space. He pet the polar dog and said, “Hold down the fort Foo Foo.” I followed him outside and pulled my cardigan closer to me. 

The Peasant raised an eyebrow, “You’re not bringing a jacket?” I answered, “No, I don’t want to lose it. I’m guessing we’re going to a bar.” His blue eyes rolled, “We’re going to a grown ass people bar, not a shithole on campus, they have coat check. Go grab a jacket.” 

I stood and folded my arms. I didn’t have a particularly good argument for not getting a jacket. It was fucking freezing out. I just wasn’t used to having anyone telling me to do anything. The mere fact that Sokka was telling me to do something made me want to resist. He braced his arm against the door, “Azula. Go.” He nodded his head in the direction of the apartment. 

My brain failed to come up with an adequate argument, not that he had given me room to make one. I found myself reentering the apartment and getting my jacket. I was still processing that this moron had ordered me to do something and I had done it. Parents, therapists, teachers, psychologists had all told me what to do and I had never listened to what anyone said and suddenly this dum-dum was ordering me around. 

I stepped back outside wrapped in my jacket. Sokka grinned as he locked the door. I wanted to just slap that moronic grin right off his face. I followed him down the stairs and we walked to the train stop. We stepped into the warm train car that was mostly empty. I watched a group of very wasted drunk underclassmen who were already black out drunk. 

We got off a few stops later in downtown Ba Sing Se. I was a sophomore so I hadn’t come out here as much. Typically grad students and PhD students went out here. I walked alongside Sokka. I noticed that he put himself closest to the street. I remembered Uncle telling Lu Ten and Zuzu to do that whenever they walked with a woman. I rolled my eyes, I didn’t need anyone taking care of me.

There wasn’t a line, but I could hear the thump of music as we showed the bouncer our ids. We walked in and as promised dropped our jackets at coat check. 

We walked to the bar and the female bartender immediately came up to Sokka like a moth drawn to a flame. It made me want to gag. I glanced around and took in my surroundings. It had been too cold outside for me to look at the name of where we were, but it seemed like a Fire Nation bar. It was lit up in soft red, yellow and orange lights. There were paintings of dragons hanging on the walls. This was a big difference from the bars on campus that always had a lingering stench of vomit, beer and piss. 

The crowd was more mature. People were actually sitting and talking instead of doing keg stands and playing flip cup. This didn’t seem like Sokka’s usual hang out. I took him for a jungle juice mixing frat boy. I saw a glass appear in my vision. I took a deep inhale. Micheladas were my favorite. Hardly any bartenders in the Earth Kingdom knew how to make them spicy enough and they didn’t serve them on campus. I took a sip and tasted the chili peppers and hot sauce. 

I glanced up at Sokka and noticed he was just sipping a seltzer water. I arched an eyebrow, “Not drinking?” He shook his head, “We’re on a mission remember?” I took another sip and rolled my eyes, “I guess.” After a second I followed up, “How did you know I wanted a michelada?” He shrugged, “It’s what your brother and Lu Ten always get. You should try their jalapeno vodka. Those assholes got me to take a shot and I was crying like a baby.”

I laughed because it was so easy to picture that exact situation. Sokka took a sip and said, “C’mon.” I followed him. This place wasn’t packed. There was plenty of room to move around. We walked past the bar and I realized there was a whole back room that was the dance floor. I now recognized the music as Fire Nation. 

We stood at a table watching the dance floor. Only a few couples were out there. I would probably easily be the best dancer here. Mother had insisted I be put in classes as a child and my competitiveness with Ty Lee ensured that I continued with it even after I lost interest. I swirled my drink and took another sip. 

I saw a woman from across the room wink at Sokka. He gave a small nod in response. I threw a glance at him, “Just go.” I didn’t blame her for looking at him. Sokka was wearing a white vneck t-shirt that made him look more ripped than he already was with dark jeans and white sneakers. He shook his head, “I came here with you.” I spun my cup with my hands, “I’m a big girl, I can handle myself, I promise.” 

Sokka headed her way and immediately leaned against the wall she was next to. She was pretty, looked like a nice girl. The exact kind of girl Sokka would end up with. I tipped the rest of my drink into my mouth and popped a chili pepper in. I smelled really strong body spray so I glanced at the source. An older man was leaning against my table. 

I drawled out, “Can I help you?” This guy was way too old to be anywhere near me. He looked older than Father. He leaned into my personal space so I took a step back and he responded, “Just thought a pretty little thing like you shouldn’t be by yourself. Wouldn’t want some bad guy to take advantage of you.” 

I laughed at the thought. _Someone, taking advantage of me. What a fucking joke._ The man leered closer to me. His hair was in a long braid even though he was balding. He had a sparse mustache and goatee. He sneered, “Something funny, _Princess?_ ” I examined the bottom of my glass and answered in my normal tone, “Call me that again and I’ll snap your impotent cock off and shove it down your throat.”

He growled out, “What the fuck is your problem?” I swirled the half melted ice cubes in my glass, “You are my problem. I can see your whole history in your eyes. You’re trapped in a boring marriage. You probably told your wife you were just having a boys night out, but instead you chase girls half your age in the hopes that they can’t tell how pathetic you are. You act like you have some divine right to be with me, but we both know you couldn’t get it up if you tried. The truth is, I’m not leaving here with you tonight. You know that and I know that.” 

I finally glanced at him and I could see sweat dripping off of him like the pathetic pig he was. He had shut his eyes and looked like he was almost in physical pain. I saw a brown arm lean against the table and I looked up to see the Sea Prune. He extended his hand to me and asked, “Dance with me?” I took his hand and made to move away from the table. The old creep finally responded, “You’ve beaten me at my own game.”I stopped mid step and turned to him, “Don’t flatter yourself. You were never even a player.” 

Sokka and I made our way to the dance floor. There were a few more couples out now. Sokka leaned down so I could hear him over the music, “Wanna get out of here? Seeing you peg that guy was pretty hot.” I questioned, “Peg?” He rolled his eyes, “You think you would have learned that during your little study session. When a girl fucks a guy with like a strap on or something.” I snapped back, “I watched porn for one evening, not the entirety of my adult life like you.” He nudged me, “I was joking, let’s dance though. I wasn’t kidding about that."

I looked up at him and asked, “What about the girl you were talking to?” I watched his arm flex as he scratched the back of his neck, “She graduated last year. I was just saying hi. Now come on. You. Me. Dancing.” My neck felt kind of uncomfortable looking up at him, “You can dance to this?” Sokka just held his hand out in response and I wasn’t one to turn down a challenge. 

I could take it easy on him. We started with the camelephant strut. I was surprised that he bounced so easily from foot to foot in time with the music. A big grin spread on his face. Oh, how quaint. He thought he had beaten me. The next song started. If he wanted a challenge I could give it to him. 

The strum of the erhu started and I extended my arm out. Sokka put him arm against mine and we started dancing in a circle. I stepped back and changed the direction we were moving and he never lost his step. Hm. I guess the Peasant could keep up after all. 

The rest of this particular dance was complicated so I hadn’t planned on going further, but to my surprise Sokka followed the rest of the couples. He pulled me away and then towards him. I passed along his front and I could feel his hard chest behind me. He pushed us apart and twirled me. We stayed apart and resumed rocking from foot to foot like we had done earlier. 

Of course he had a big shit eating grin on his face. It wasn’t the first time tonight that I wanted to slap it off of him. He pulled me back towards himself and dipped me just as the song ended. He murmured in my ear, “Everyone’s looking at you Princess.” He propped me back upright and sure enough everyone was looking at us. 

I rolled my eyes and felt a large hand against my back guiding me back towards the table we had occupied earlier. Sokka took a sip of his water and I immediately put my hand out wanting some. He wordlessly put the glass bottle in my hands and I took a few sips. I could hear Sokka’s voice dripping with smugness, “Did I tire you out already, your Highness?” 

I glared at him, but he kept prodding, “Were you blushing when we finished dancing?” I answered dismissively, “Of course not. It’s just hot in here.” He took the water back, “Well if it’s hot in here we can leave.” I flipped my bangs out of my face, “I suppose we can.” We started walking back towards the front of the bar. 

It had gotten more crowded since we had first arrived. People seemed to just move out of Sokka’s way. I saw his arm extend back and I realized that he intended for me to grab his hand. I put my hand in his much larger one. I looked up just in time to throw the old pervert from earlier a smirk. 

We collected our jackets, but I was too hot to put mine on. I let the December cold seep into me as we waited for the train. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So no smut this chapter, but more to cum (get it? ;) )
> 
> You, Varrick: Do the thing!
> 
> Me, Bolin: What thing?
> 
> You, Varrick: THE SMUT!!!!
> 
> Me, Bolin: Pretend I don't know anything about anything that's happening here
> 
> lolol thank you to everyone for reading, commenting and kudo-ing. It warms my cold little grinchy heart and gives me the motivation to deal with this crackship. It took me forever to figure out a story I liked for them and I'm just glad somebody enjoys it.


	7. But my mind didn't change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for leaving this for so long. I got hit by a literal hurricane and I have been trying to keep it together and I am also moving across the country soon. I am going to try and get back on track for posting once a week but please be patient with me. 
> 
> I changed midterms to finals and the month from November to December because that made more sense of where I want this to go.

-Sokka-

We boarded the train. It was pretty empty since the bars hadn’t closed yet. I stretched my arm back behind ‘Zula. I was glad to be heading home. I gently brushed my finger on her shoulder. I had to get used to touching her and she had to get used to being touched or this was gonna go nowhere. She was about as cuddly as a boar-q-pine. 

I kept rubbing her arm and said, “If I’m ever doing something you don’t like tell me ok?” Her gold eyes looked over at me, “Isn’t it good practice to have a safe word and/or gesture?” I grinned, “Look at you, learning from the darkest holes of the internet. What do you want the safe word and/or gesture to be?” She thought for a minute, “Traffic light system. Green is proceed. Yellow is continue, but I’m still making my mind up, and red is get the hell away from me or I’ll kill you.”

I nodded, “Fair enough. Where are we at now?” She answered, “Yellow. What’s the safe gesture?” I asked, “Do you really think we need one? That’s usually for when you’re doing hardcore, um, activities.” She shrugged, “ It can’t hurt.” I questioned, “Can you snap?” She huffed a piece of hair out of her face, “Of course I can snap. I’m not an idiot.” I grinned, “Your brother can’t snap.” I wondered how many times she had rolled her eyes at me tonight as she replied, “Idiocy isn’t genetic, thank the spirits.” 

I followed up, “So snaps work the same way as the words. One for stop, two for proceed with caution and three for hell yeah!” ‘Zula responded, “That works.” The train came to a stop. A few students boarded and I recognized Teo immediately. He wheeled over to us, “Hey Sokka! How’s it going?” ‘Zula looked out the window. I couldn’t tell if she was embarrassed or just didn’t want to engage in conversation.

I brushed my knuckles up and down her arm as Teo told me about the physics final he was studying for. I wished him luck and thankfully he got off at the next stop. Teo didn’t know Zuko super well, so hopefully I wouldn’t be reamed out by my BFF anytime soon. I was usually on the giving side of the protective big brother spiel, not the receiving end. 

I pulled Azula up with me as we got to our stop. She still hadn’t put on her jacket or sweater since we left the bar. A gust of wind hit us as we stepped off the train and I felt her shiver next to me. The next second she sprinted off towards the apartment, flinging her jacket on as she ran. Any other girl in this situation would look like a hot mess, but everything Azula did was elegant and graceful. Including running down the street at one in the morning while also putting on a jacket. I would have busted my shit if I tried to do two things at once. 

We were only a block away from the apartment and I saw her dash in the building. I took my time walking, not feeling like chasing after her. The moon was full and bright tonight. Yue always used to say no matter where we were, we could both see the same moon. I turned into the apartment building. 

“Hurry up, Peasant! You have the keys and it’s fucking freezing!” I glanced up and could see Azula peering up from the top of the stairs. I purposefully took my time going up as I responded, “See aren’t you glad you have a jacket?” I finally got to apartment 512. Azula had her arms folded like she was doing everything she could to block out the cold. 

I unlocked the door and we both stepped in. I grabbed Foof’s leash and clipped it on him. ‘Zula was getting ready to go down the hall, but I said, “Hey, come here.” I knew with Azula I should probably ask her  _ Can you come here? Or would you please come here? _ Anytime Zuko, Lu Ten, Iroh, Ty Lee or Mai had asked or told her to do anything she very purposefully did the exact opposite. 

But there she stood in front of me expectantly. A few pieces of hair had fallen out of her bun. Her cheeks were flushed, I didn’t know if it was from the cold or her run, probably both. Her almond eyes were looking up at me. I reached out and tilted her chin up. I raised my eyebrow at her and she answered, “Yellow.” I dropped my hand. She huffed, “We said yellow means proceed.” I said, “Yeah with caution. I want to wait until you’re enthusiastic about what we’re doing.” Her gold eyes hardened and she looked like she was going to throw a temper tantrum. She ground out, “Fine, green.” I rolled my eyes, “ ‘Zula you’re defeating the whole point of your own safe words. Only say them if you genuinely mean them.”

She stepped closer to me and tilted her head up, “Green, green, green,  _ green _ .” Spirits, she was infuriating. I bent down and pressed my lips to hers. Her lips were soft and tasted a little spicy from her drink. She sighed and I took that as my opportunity to kiss her deeper. For a second she didn’t kiss back, but then she started moving her tongue against mine. 

I pulled back. Her pretty pale skin was flushed even more than it had been earlier. I told her, “I’m taking Foof out, be back in five minutes. I expect you in my room ready to go if this is really what you want.” 


	8. And I still feel the same. What's a life with no fun?

-Azula-

I walked to the other room and slipped out of my socks and shoes. I brushed my teeth. I let out a breath as I walked to his room. I sat crossed legged on the bed. His words echoed in my head. He said he wanted me “ready to go.” Did that mean naked? What if it didn’t mean naked and he came back and I was naked, but he didn’t expect me to be naked? I let out a shaky sigh as I folded my legs and tucked them under my chin. 

I didn’t have much more time to think about it when I heard the front door open and him and the dog walked in. I listened as he moved around in the kitchen. I could do this. I glanced up as he stepped in the room. He sprawled out lying down on the bed next to me and grinned, “Hey Princess.” Sokka’s earlier word echoed in my head,  _ enthusiastic.  _ Come on, Azula, you can do this. 

Before I lost my nerve I straddled his lap. I looked down and if I hadn’t been looking closely I would have missed the surprised look on his face, but it was quickly replaced with his lopsided grin and he chuckled out, “Green!” I rolled my eyes. One of his hands started grazing up and down my thigh. He leaned up on his forearms and I met him. I pressed my lips against his. He had surprisingly soft lips. 

He wrapped one of his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. My hands splayed on his hard pecs. He smelled good, fresh and clean. Both of his hands were rubbing up and down my thighs. 

I wondered how I was doing. I hadn’t really made out with anyone before. Was I doing ok? Was I doing terribly? I let Sokka lead. I didn’t want him to realize how inexperienced I was even though I was sure he would find out soon enough. His hand went a little further up my thigh as if to pull me from my thoughts and focus me. His tongue found his way into my mouth. I swirled my tongue against his. It felt like the natural thing to do. 

One of his large hands came up and he weaved his hand into the base of my bun.  _ Oh. I liked that. GreenGreenGreen.  _ I didn’t say those words out loud, but I heard a high pitched moan. Was that me? I had never made such a sound in my life. 

His other large hand grabbed my hip. I hadn’t realized I was rocking back and forth in Sokka’s lap. My covered crotch rubbing against his. I pulled away and looked down at him. There wasn’t a smirk, there wasn’t any sign that I was doing terribly. His blue eyes seemed darker as he watched me. His other hand grabbed my other hip, pressing me harder against him. He breathed out, “Fuck, you’re so pretty ‘Zula.” 

I tilted my head, looking for the lie or the mocking, but I fisted his shirt instead as he rolled his hips up. His bulge rubbing my clit just right. This alone was better than all of my past sexual experiences combined. Even though I was on top and should have the control, I didn’t. Sokka was using his large hands to move me where and how he wanted. I looked down. His large brown hands were almost fully encompassed around my pale torso. I liked this. Sokka, using me so he could feel good. It felt right, but I needed more. 

I started bouncing myself in his lap, wanting more friction, more of anything, something. I whined, “More.” His hands grazed up my sides, barely touching me, leaving goose bumps along the way. He gently rocked his hips, “Shush, sweetheart, don’t worry. There’s no need to rush.”

I shuddered against him. No one had ever called me pet names before. I just wasn’t that kind of a person, but with Sokka, Spirits. It’s like his voice directly registered with my cunt, which was completely soaking my panties. 

His hand reached up and he pulled my shirt over my head and flung it somewhere in the room. I felt self conscious. I had always wanted bigger boobs. I hated being flat chested. I didn’t dare look at him, I didn’t want to see the disappointment. I felt both of his large hands come up fully encompassing my tits. He breathed out, “Oh, so perfect, ‘Zula. Spirits, you’re so pretty. Fucking gorgeous.”

He probably said that to every girl. I didn’t matter. It didn’t matter. I felt him move and I glanced down to see him press soft kisses around my tits. He nuzzled his face in between my breasts. He glanced up, his bright blue eyes looked up at me. He asked, “Is this ok ‘Zula?” I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. But Sokka pushed, because he always pushed me, “Sweetie, I need words. Can you do that for me?” I wiggled trying to get him to continue, “Feels good.” 

His shit eating grin was back on his face, “See that wasn’t so hard.” He winked and pressed a wet kiss to my tit and then flipped us so I was laying on my back and he loomed above me. 

He stepped away and I momentarily panicked thinking we were done, but he just turned the lights off and shucked his shirt to whatever corner he had thrown mine. The orange street light illuminated the room through the flimsy blinds. Fuck, Sokka was built. I could see every line of muscle on him. My eyes met his, they looked almost black. I didn’t think I had ever seen him this serious before. 

His hands went to his belt, “Is it ok if I take off my pants ‘Zula?” I nodded, but it wasn’t enough, “C’mon, ‘Zula, words. This is the second time I’ve told you.” Sokka’s voice had a sternness I wasn’t used to hearing. Smugness? Yes. Cockiness? Yes. Sarcasm? You bet. My brain was trying to comprehend this Sokka. 

His voice cut through my thoughts, “Azula. Do you want me to take off my pants?” I hurriedly squeaked out, “Yes!” His hand reached out tilting my head to look up at him. His fingers touching the nape of my neck. Spirits, I loved when he did that. He gently rubbed his thumb on my cheek, “I knew you would want to be a good girl for me.” 

I watched, fascinated as he undid his belt and shimmied out of his pants. I bit my lip a bit, but then the panic hit and I was terrified of what was to come. I couldn’t handle a big dick. I just couldn’t. Zhao had been big and his dick had a curve and it had hurt like a bitch. I didn’t want that. 

I sat up trying to see his dick, but he leaned down so his face was blocking my view, “How we doin?” I looked at him, “Green.” He kept looking at me evaluating, trying to find the lie, but there was no way I was backing down now. I had gotten this far. 

I reached my hand out trying to get at his dick, but he gently pushed my hand to my thigh, “ ‘Zula tell me what’s wrong. Talk to me.” I felt myself shaking. This was so stupid. Why was I fucking like this? This is how a scared little virgin reacts to having sex for the first time. I felt my eyes leaking. Oh come on for fuck’s sake. 

I saw him reaching out to touch my face and I turned away from him. I got up and ran down the hall. I shut the door and collapsed against it. 


	9. Please don't be so ashamed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Mention of past rape. I didn't get very graphic, but I want to be clear incase it is triggering for anyone. I've updated the tags. If this is triggering for you, you can rejoin us next chapter.

-Sokka-

I laid on the couch. Foof had insisted on going for a walk at the ass crack of dawn. I thought I could just get another few hours of sleep I would be good to go. As soon as I shut my eyes I heard light footsteps coming down the hall. As I heard the steps reach the front hallway I called out, “Mornin’ Zula.” 

I opened my eyes and Azula looked like a feral animal that had been trapped and was weighing its options between fight or flight. I sat up, “Do you wanna talk about it? If not we can pretend nothing happened and just go back to the way we were.” 

After a minute, her bag thunked to the floor and she followed it. I didn’t make an attempt to move closer, but Foof climbed off of me and went over to her wagging his tail happily. She grimaced and scratched his ear.

She started, “I’m sure I owe you an explanation.” I responded, “ ‘Zula you don’t owe me shit.” She was intently scratching Foof behind his ears. She spoke quietly, “A few years ago, I was made to have sex when I didn’t want to. I couldn’t see what was happening yesterday and it freaked me out.”

Azula- strong, pretty, fiery Azula. Someone had broken her down and hadn’t cared. 

She didn’t owe me an answer, but I asked anyway because I didn’t know how to shut my mouth, “Chan?” My hands were already in fists. If she said the word I would go beat that kid to a pulp. She kept her eyes on Foof, “No, my first boyfriend, years ago. He kept begging me to have sex and I finally gave in. I said yes, and we started. It was ok, but then it got too painful. I begged him to stop. I asked over and over, I tried to push him off of me, but I couldn’t do anything but lay there.”

She let out a breath, “You’re the only person I’ve told. I just thought no one would believe me. Especially not then. I was such a problem child already. Everyone would have thought it was a cry for attention.” Her eyes were on Foof’s paws, “The weird thing is I didn’t realize what it was at first. I just knew I didn’t want to be around him and I broke up with him.”

She continued, “I didn’t realize what it was. I didn’t recognize it, you know. He was my boyfriend, not some freak on a crime show. Now I know what it was. I didn’t mean to freak out yesterday, I really didn’t.”

I wanted to hug her, to comfort her, but I had to respect her space. I stayed across the room, “Azula, I’m sorry you went through that. I’m always here if you want to talk or anything.” She nodded and her eyes finally looked up at me. I had seen plenty of pictures of Ursa. In this moment, Azula looked like the spitting image of her and not in a good way. They both had this sadness in their eyes that was gut wrenching. 

I asked, “Stay for breakfast?” She looked at the kitchen, still skittish, but she nodded. I got up and mixed together some eggs, cheese and spinach and cooked some bacon. I finished and brought our plates to the dining room. She sat on one end of the couch and I sat on the other. I flipped through Netlfix and put on World’s Toughest Prisons. 

I glanced out of the corner of my eye to see ‘Zula give Foof a piece of bacon. She commented at the TV, “ I could easily escape the Boiling Rock, all you really have to do is make it to those trams.” I answered, “Or, you could unhinge one of those coolers and float away in it.” She gave me a glare, “The metal would get too hot from the boiling water dum-dum and that’s way more complicated then just causing a diversion and getting on a tram car. Do you always overcomplicate things?” I grinned, “I sure do.” 

She scoffed at me. I noticed her plate was clean, so I stood and held my hand out. She glared at it, “I was going to take care of it.” I motioned with my hand, “Hand it over.” She rolled her eyes and put the plate in my hand. I stood in the sink washing dishes. I padded to my room and got my laptop and a few textbooks. 

I expected Azula to be long gone, but she was curled up on the couch, asleep with her coat and boots on. With anyone else, I would have reached over and taken them off, but with Azula, I would probably get pepper sprayed if I went anywhere near her. 

I sunk onto my end of the couch and took another peak at her, still fast asleep. I didn’t know if it was hereditary or not, but Zuko barely slept and then he would knock out in the most random spots when he finally let himself relax enough. 

She was curled up in a tiny ball. She looked peaceful. Her forehead wasn’t wrinkled in annoyance or irritation like it usually was. I cracked open my text book and opened up my laptop to my paper that I still hadn’t finished. Foof hopped up and curled up next to Azula. He really had no loyalty to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this pretty much how my conversation went the first time I told someone what happened to me. This is just based off of my experience. If you or someone you know have dealt with this please seek out resources and don't be scared to ask for help. 
> 
> I know we all want the smut and we'll get there kids. Don't worry. I just really wanted these two to have fully fledged out back stories. I didn't put that slow burn tag on there for nothing lololol. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone for kudos and comments. Sorry for disappearing. I did my first kinktober and it was a lot more than I expected.


	10. I've had mine, you've had yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for depression/seasonal depression and past references of abuse. I do not get graphic, but just a heads up.

-Azula-

I tapped my toe as I took notes during Kyoshi's weekly chapter meeting. We were going over procedures for leave. We had voted to close down the house this year for break to save on costs. Ty Lee clasped her hands together, “Can someone volunteer to lock up? Whoever is gonna be the last one here…”

I raised my pen, “I’ll do it.” Her tone was cheery as she grinned, “Thanks ‘Zula! Alright everyone, that’s all I had for today, so have a good break and good luck on the rest of finals!”

Finals were a cake walk. School had never really been challenging for me. Teachers had recommended I skip a grade to keep from getting bored, but that hadn’t really helped. 

Over the course of the week, the house slowly but surely cleared out as girls finished exams. Mai had left as soon as she was done to spend the break with Kei Lo’s family. I helped Ty Lee get her bags down the stairs Saturday morning. 

She glanced at me, “You sure you don’t wanna come home with me? You shouldn’t spend break by yourself.” I rolled my eyes, “I think I spend enough time in a sorority house already, don’t you?” She grimaced, “Ugh, I hate that I’m going home. I’m bummed that we’re not going to Ember Island like we usually do.”I stood on the porch with her waiting for one of her sisters to show up, “I know, but maybe next year.” 

I helped her load up and then walked back into the empty house. I trudged up the stairs, walked through bedrooms and bathrooms, unplugging power strips, space heaters and hair straighteners. Ty Lee had specifically told everyone to do this earlier this week. If this house burned down it wasn’t my fault. 

I turned off lights behind me and threw my bags down the stairs. I followed after them and then walked through the living areas and made sure everything was good to go. I turned the heat down, turned on the security system and locked up. 

I lugged my backpack and my duffel up to Zuko’s. I hadn’t asked him to stay, but he was the moron who had paid for rent and then decided to study abroad for the year. What an indecisive nitwit. At least I was putting his rent money to good use. 

I got through the doorway just to be tackled to the ground. I pushed the white mound of fur off of me. I sputtered, “Peasant! Come get your dog!” I grabbed the dog’s back and pulled myself up.

Sokka was standing at the end of the hallway. He looked at me, “You ok?” I dusted dog fur off of myself, “I’m fine.” I glanced up at him, “You, however, look like shit.”

He turned and started walking back to his room, “I can always count on you to lift my spirits ‘Zula.”

I scratched Foof’s ears and thought for a second. The person I had just seen was not the Sokka I was familiar with. Him and my brother had been roommates since their freshman year. Sokka had always cared about his appearance, even when he was just being lazy. That morning I had seen him with Ming he had still looked put together, even though he was just wearing sweats. 

The person I just saw was not the same person I knew. His hair was in a messy top knot, spilling in every direction. It looked like it hadn’t been washed in days. He had a breakout of pimples along his jaw and he looked exhausted. His eyes were bleary and bloodshot. 

I took a few steps further in the apartment and it didn’t smell fantastic. I dropped my bags in Zuko’s room and then came out to investigate the smell. Ah, a sink full of dishes and an overflowing garbage can will do it. 

I emptied out the dish soap onto the dishes and then let the hot water run for a bit. I wrestled and pulled out the garbage bag. I coughed from the smell as I tied it up. I opened up the fridge and also tossed out anything that had gone bad. I didn’t know what the fuck was wrong with Sokka, but it couldn't be good. I struggled to put the pieces together in my head. Was he just being lazy because we were on break? That still didn't seem to fit. Zuko had often whined about Sokka's color coordinated chore chart. 

I dragged the garbage bags to the door and hauled them down all five flights of stairs. I huffed as I repinned my bangs. I didn’t sign up to be babysitting during my break. 

I rolled up my sleeves and started washing dishes. I left the water all the way on hot. It felt good as it lightly scalded my hands. As I washed, Foof curled up looking at me from the tile. I finished and shut the water off. I looked down at the dog, “What on earth is wrong with your human?” He didn’t give an answer. I cracked open the kitchen window to get rid of the stale smell in the apartment. 

The next day I waited for Lu Ten to meet me for our usual weekly dinner. He apologized as he walked in, “Sorry Lala, we’re short staffed at the shop with everyone going home for break.” I shrugged, “I could come help out you know.” He raised an eyebrow, “Oh really?”

I kept my tone dismissive, “Sure, just don’t schedule me when Uncle will be there.”

He grinned, “You’re the best little cousin I could ask for.” I rolled my eyes, “Don’t forget about Zuzu.” We put in our orders and he turned to me, “You sure you don’t wanna come by for the solstice? Dad would love to have you.” I grimaced as I took a sip of my drink, “I would literally rather gouge my eyes out.” He put up his hands defensively, "Geez, I was just asking." 

Later that night, I jogged upstairs to get in the apartment and out of the cold. I tried to open the door, but it only opened a sliver. I knocked my shoulder into it. It opened a little bit more and I saw Foo Foo Cuddly Pops staring back at me. He stood on his hind paws and scratched at the door. Shit. He was tall enough to have locked the top lock. 

I yelled, “Sokka! Sokkkaaa! Open the fucking door!” On my side of the door I tapped, “Come on Foof, hit right here again.” He looked at me like I was a psycho. I slumped against the door wondering what to do next. 

I fell as the door opened. I pushed Foof’s snout out of my face only to see Sokka’s footsteps going back down the hall. That was the most I had seen of him all week, which was odd. Sokka liked people. He needed people just like Ty Lee did. It wasn’t like him to seclude himself in his room and just ignore my existence. 

I told Lu Ten to schedule me for as many shifts as he wanted to, barring I wouldn’t run into Uncle. It felt good to be productive. We fell into an easy rhythm, Lulu smiling at customers and taking their orders while I prepared drinks and hummed solstice carols that were on repeat. 

After the morning rush, we washed dishes together. He flicked some water at me and I stuck my tongue out at him. He grinned, “Thanks for the help Lala. I know Sokka’s on campus, but he texted me like a week ago saying he was pretty sick, so I’m grateful for the help.”

I nodded, “No problem. Did he say what he was wrong?” Lu shook his head, “Nah, but Sokka’s never really himself around winter break. I don’t know what it is. I know some people get sick at specific times of the year.” I nodded unconvinced, “Maybe it’s that.”

I told Lulu I would close up towards the end of the week so he could leave early for once. I had just locked up the cash register when a jolly voice interrupted my humming, “Azula! Thank you so much niece, for helping me this last week.” I stepped around him and slid out the door, “I trust you can lock up Uncle.”

As soon as I got to the apartment I got in the shower and blasted the hot water to burn my irritation away from seeing my uncle. I scrubbed my hair and started to calm down. As I relaxed, I let my mind wander. What could be wrong with Sokka? He didn’t seem like he was functioning at all, which was so unlike him. 

When I was younger, I had to read between the lines just to survive at home. When mother said she was tired, it really meant she was depressed. When Father clenched his fist, it meant whoever closest to be on the receiving end of his rage.

For some reason though, I couldn’t get a read on Sokka at all. 

I threw on some red pajama pants, a black sports bra and my black and red patagonia pullover. I wrestled the knots out of my hair and put it back in a loose ponytail. Ty Lee said if I kept pulling it back so severely my hairline would be worse than JoJo Siwa’s. 

I put some mindless Winter Solstice movie on the TV and tried to decide where to order dinner from. I padded back down the hall, “Peasant! I’m ordering dinner. Do you want anything?”

I barely heard him through the door as he groaned, “Leave me alone, ‘Zula. I’m tired.”

Suddenly it hit me what was wrong with Sokka. The same thing that had been wrong with Mother. 

_Azula, go play with your friends. Mommy’s tired._

_Azula, please. Leave mommy alone right now, I have a headache._

_Azula, I’m just so tired. I can’t, not today._

_I’m exhausted, Azula._

She had spent almost my entire childhood in bed, asleep or crying. She always looked so frail and weak. 

As a child, I had stared at my mother wondering how one human being could be so damn tired all the time. And the thing was, she did always look exhausted and tired. As if just being our mother was the single most exhausting thing she had ever been tasked with. 

I had thought she was lazy. She was a stay at home mother for fuck’s sake. What did she have to be tired about? And then I figured out that Father's fits weren't normal. I overheard her tell Uncle one day that she thought I would be like him, a monster. Who wouldn’t be depressed? She was living in a nightmare. 

Zuko, her “little turtle duck” had always been there for her though. Until she left him-left us. 

I sat on the couch and chewed at my nails. I struggled to be empathetic. But I knew what it was like when your mind played tricks on you. When you wanted something so badly, but your own brain conspired against you. That I could understand. 

So what was I supposed to do? I couldn’t call my brother and say “Hey your best friend is broken. How do I fix?” 

I sighed and Foof started jumping around the living room. I asked, “You wanna go outside, huh?” 

I threw on some socks and slides and clipped his leash on. He pulled me down the stairs and I watched him sniff the grass. I asked, “What should we do about our human huh?”

When Mother was sick, Zuko would sit with her in bed, draw her things, comb her hair. It’s no wonder he was the favorite. 

When I was sick, Father had me hospitalized. I was medicated and forced to talk to people. I chewed my nail as I thought. 

We went back upstairs and I sat in front of Sokka’s closed door. Foof sat next to me, both of us staring at the door. 

What if I could just get him to laugh? That was a good start as any right? I was funny, I could do that. 

I had an idea. I scrambled up and got my notebook, pen and laptop. 

I played _Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?_ from _Frozen_ about 10 times in my headphones before I had the lyrics done. 

I went to the front door and brought in our dinner and placed it on the counter. 

Then I got the music queued up on my laptop.

I asked, “Sokka?” and knocked on his door a few times. 

I sang to the tune, 

_Do you wanna be my fuck buddy? Come on let’s go and play._

_I never see you anymore, come out the door. It’s like you’ve gone awaaaaay._

_We used to be fuck buddies and now we’re not. I wish you would tell me whyyyy._

_Do you wanna be my fuck buddy? I guess we don’t actually have to fuck._

I heard him through the door, “Go away Azula.”

I pouted, “Ok bye…”

I knocked on the door again and kept singing,

_Do you wanna be my fuck buddy? I can ride you like a bike around this haaall._

_I think some company is overdue, I’ve started talking to the waaalls._

_It gets a little lonely. All these empty rooms, just watching the hours tick byyyy._

I imitated a clock ticking with my tongue. 

I knocked again,

_Sokka, please, I know you’re in there. People are asking where you’ve been._

_I’m sure they’ve told you, “Have courage,” and you’re trying to.._

_I’m right out here for you. Just let me iiiin._

_Right now, it’s just you and me. What are we gonna doooo?_

He opened the door and had a closed lip smile. That was good enough for me. He looked worse than he had earlier than the week, but at least he was here, door open, his tired blue eyes staring down at me. His voice was gravelly from not being used, “I didn’t know Disney tunes were your thing.” I arched my eyebrow, “I’ve been friends with Ty Lee since we were little. She made me watch every Princess movie at least forty times.”

Foof nuzzled against him. I tried, “I ordered some Sea Prune stew and steamed dumplings from Ashuna’s. Do you want some?” 

He scratched Foof. His voice was still dry as he asked, “You ordered Water Tribe food?” I shrugged, “Hot sauce can make anything better.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter drove me up a damn wall. They are so hard to write. 
> 
> Azula singing Frozen isn't meant to cure or alleviate Sokka's depression, but in the show they both use humor as a means to deflect/cope so I threw it in. 
> 
> They'll continue working through this stuff and I swear there will be more smut, I promise!


	11. We both know, we know.

-Sokka-

I banged my head against the cool glass of the van window. How had I ended up here? 

Chong was strumming lazily and singing over his shoulder, “Don’t let finals get you down. Don’t let your falling grades turn that smile into a frown. When college is darkest, that’s when you need a clown. Don’t let finals get you down Sokkaaaa!”

I grumbled as I facepalmed and dragged my hand down my face, “Thanks Chong.” Foo Foo Cuddly Pops curled in closer to my side. Azula’s hand grabbed my shoulder from the back row, “He’s looking so much better Chong. I think you should keep singing.”

His hippy ass chortled, “Oh that’s no problem.” Lily cooed from the driver’s seat, “Ohh Chong, play the sweet song we wrote last time we drove this way.” Chong strummed his pipa a few times, “ Lil! That’s a great idea.”

I threw my head back against the seat, “Ugrh are we there yet? How much longer?” Chong was tuning his instrument, “Whoooah, sounds like someone’s got a case of destination fever.” He snorted as he laughed, “You’re worried too much about where you’re going.” Lily chimed in, “You’ve gotta focus less on the where, and more on the going.” 

I let out a breath, “OH MY SPIRITS! I didn’t even wanna go to Ember Island to begin with.” I folded my arms across my chest. ‘Zula piped up from the rear seat, “As much as I hate to admit it, Sokka is kind of right. There’s a bad snow storm coming this way. If we can’t make it to the ferry today, we need to at least make it to somewhere safe.” 

Chong shrugged, “Sounds like we should be heading to Ember Island then.” I facepalmed so hard. He kept on, “There’s a story about a secret pass, right through the mountains.” Azula lightly pulled on my wolf’s tail, “Is this real or just some stupid legend?”

Chong answered, “Oh, it’s a real legend, alright. That’s as old as the mountains themselves.” He started strumming and I really wondered where my headphones were. Lily turned and we were suddenly snaking up the mountain as Chong sang, “Two lovers forbidden from one another, a war divides their people..”

Moku started banging his small drum from where he sat next to Azula. “And a mountain divides them apart, built a path to be together.” Chong lazily strummed, “I forget the next coupla lines..” Lily nudged him and he started back up, “Then it goes, SECRET TUNNEL,” he sang loudly as we went further up the mountain. “SECRET TUNNEL,THROUGH THE MOUNTAIN…SECRET, SECRET, SECRET, SECRET TUNNEL...yeah” By the end ‘Zula was singing along loudly from the back seat. Her laugh rang out almost like bells as they finished. 

We turned and I rested my head back onto the window. It had started lightly snowing. I took a deep breath to shake off the annoyed feeling I had. I spoke up, “Look, I hate to be the wet blanket here, but since Azula is busy-” I threw her a pointed look, “I guess it’s up to me. We need to get to Ember Island- no more sidetracks, and definitely no secret tunnels.”

The snow started coming down harder, obscuring my view out of the window. Lily turned the van along the mountain side and the rear tires briefly spun out. I grumbled, “Secret love cave, let’s go.” Lily and Chong cheered in the front seat. ‘Zula and Moku were giggling behind me. I narrowed my eyes at them, “What’s so funny?” Moku got out between laughs, “You can come to my secret love cave anytime.” He wiggled his eyebrows for emphasis and it sent Azula into another fit of giggles. A few hairs had strayed from her usual bun. Her cheeks were lightly flushed from laughing so hard. I think this was the most carefree I had ever seen her. 

I dozed in and out of sleep, rocked by the turning of the old van. I groggily asked, “How far are we from the tunnel?” Chong answered, “It’s actually not just one tunnel. The lover’s didn’t want anybody to find out about their love, so they built a whole labyrinth.” I groaned and held my face in my hands, “Labyrinth??!” Chong shrugged, “I’m sure we’ll figure it out.” Lily added, “All you need to do is trust in love, according to the curse..” Was I the only one with a brain cell in this vehicle, “Curse???!” 

Chong’s chuckle cut through my exasperation, “Hey, hey. We’re here!” I was still stuck on what Lily had said, “What exactly is this curse?” Chong elaborated, “The curse says that only those that trust in love can make it through the cave. Otherwise you’ll be trapped in them forever.” “And die.” Lily added. Chong agreed, “Oh yeah, and die… Hey! I just remembered the rest of that song!”

He strummed his pipa, “AND DIE!” I could see the tunnel ahead of us now, “That’s it! There’s no way we’re going though some cursed hole.” More giggles from the backseat followed that statement. Moku glanced back out the rear window, “Wow, it’s really coming down out there.” The wind blew and slightly jostled the old van to punctuate his statement. 

We were idling outside of the entrance outside of the caves. ‘Zula leaned against the back of my seat, “ We can make it through these tunnels just fine without love or whatever.” I grumbled, “Let’s go into the hole.” I glared back at ‘Zula and Moku as they giggled like thirteen year olds that had just found out what a sexual innuendo was. 

Lily gently started the van and we entered through the tunnel. We hadn’t gotten very far when there was a distinct popping noise and the van started wobbling. I asked, “What was that?” Even though I had a sinking feeling in my stomach telling me exactly what it was. Lily looked in her side mirror, “Looks like we have a flat tire.”

I let out a breath, “If you guys have a jack and a spare I can fix it.” “Uh, yeah, we took out the spare, cause we needed more room for our instruments…” If one more stupid thing came out of Chong’s mouth I was probably gonna have a stroke. 

Azula pulled her phone out, “Don’t get your panties in a bunch Sokka, I’ll call for roadside assistance.” She held her phone up to the window, “JK I have no service.” 

Could this trip get any worse? Azula had demanded I get out of bed and go to Ember Island. She made some weird comment that I “needed the island.” Whatever that meant. But I didn’t really see how being depressed in a broken down van on the side of the mountain in a snowstorm was better than being depressed in my bed. 

I let out a sigh, “Ok.. we’ll be fine. All we need is a plan. We can’t sit here. It’s gonna get dark soon and the temperature will drop. We need to get to safety on foot. I’m gonna make a map to keep track of exactly where we’ve been. Then we should be able to solve it like a maze and get through.” 

We all piled out of the van and we each just took our backpacks with the intent to find help in the morning and come back and get the van. I clipped Foof’s leash on. Zula held her hand out and grabbed it. At least the dark dank tunnel blocked out the snow and wind. We started walking and quickly found quite a few dead ends. 

‘Zula pointed out, “Sokka, this is the tenth dead end you’ve led us to.” I looked at the map I had scratched out, “This doesn’t make sense, we already came through this way.” Chong shook his head, “We don’t need a map, we just need love. The little lady knows it.” Azula crossed her arms, “Yes, but I wouldn’t mind a map.” 

I ignored them as I kept staring at my notebook, “There’s something strange here. There’s only one explanation- the tunnels are changing.” I turned back to the rest of the group and the ground beneath us started to shake and shift. Chong held his face in his hands, “The tunnels.. They’re a’ changing- it must be the curse! I knew we shouldn’t have come here.” I sighed and rolled my eyes, “Right, if only we’d listened to you.” 

Lily cut in, “Everyone be quiet. Listen.” A distant wailing was ringing in our ears. I held my cell phone light up to get a better look. I ducked as something flew over me. Chong yelled, “It’s a giant flying thing with teeth!” Moku’s shaking voice corrected him, “No! It’s a wolf bat!” I waved my cell phone light at it to scare it away. 

It flew up and I wondered where it was flying, but it must have found a crevice to the outside, because a few minutes later an avalanche of snow started pouring down. I shoved Azula, Foof and Moku under cover of rocks and shoved Lily and Chong as close to the cave wall as possible. The avalanche quickly covered the area where we had been standing, effectively separating us from Azula, my pup and Moku. 

I quickly started digging through the snow pile. Chong unhelpfully chimed in, “ Yeah, it’s no use. We’re separated, but at least you have us.” He laughed awkwardly as I glared at him. I let out a frustrated grunt and kept digging just to see how deep it was, but more snow fell covering what I had just dug. 

We turned and started walking. Chong started strumming, “Don’t let the cave in get you down. Don’t let the falling rocks turn your smile into a frown. When the tunnel is darkest, that’s when you need a clown. Hey!” I felt his elbow nudge mine, “Don’t let the cave in get you down Sokuuuuh.” 

We kept walking and hit another dead end. Chong gave me a look, “Oh great! Your plans have led us to another dead end.” As if I didn’t already fucking know that. I shot back, “At least, I’m thinking of ideas and trying to get us out of here, Chong.” Lily piped in, “Whoa, whoa, whoa we’re thinking of ideas? ‘Cause I’ve had an idea for like an hour now.” 

Oh my fucking Spirits. I snapped, “Yes! We’re all thinking of ideas!” Lily continued, “Well then listen to this, if love is the key out of here then all we need to do is play a love song.” Chong picked up strumming his pipa and I facepalmed, hard. 

We kept walking as Chong sang and strummed, but then I noticed the echo of his voice was different, like this tunnel was longer than the others. I kept walking. I called behind me, “Keep playing, the noise is helping us find the way out!” Chong grinned, “See, this is a place for music lovers.” 

I ran ahead out of the end of the tunnel. I could see white flakes drifting down. Azula called out, “Sokka!” She ran up to me and threw her arms around my middle as Foof bounded up beside her. My shoulders sagged in relief. I was so glad I wouldn’t have to explain to Zuko that I had lost his little sister in a secret love cave. 

I looked down at her, “How did you guys get out?” I absentmindedly brushed a few hairs out of her face. ‘Zula shrugged, “Just like the legend says, we let love lead the way.” I crossed my arms, “I call bullshit.” They both laughed. Azula explained, “My phone died after we got separated, but the darkness meant we were able to see glowing crystals inside the cave that led us out.” I commented, “That almost makes the love thing sound more believable.” She rolled her eyes at me, "You took forever, you always make things more difficult than they need to be." 

As she pulled back her brows scrunched together, “Why is your forehead all red?” Chong came up next to me, “No one react to what I’m about to tell you, I think we might have made it out of the tunnels.” I facepalmed for about the thousandth time, probably darkening the red mark on my forehead.

Moku called out, “Look! I see a bunch of lights over there!” We started walking and I could make out a few buildings. Since my phone light was the only one still working I led the way. Moku, ‘Zula and Foof were behind me. As we started walking into the small town Chong strung his arm across my shoulders, “Sokka, I hope you learned a little something about not letting the plans get in the way of the journey.” He pulled me in closer as I grumbled, “Just play your songs.” 

Chong pulled away from me and laughed, “Hey! Good plan!” He started singing as we looked for any place we could stay, “Even if you’re lost, you can’t lose the love because it’s in your heart.” 

I sighed as Chong sauntered over to Lily. ‘Zula stepped quietly next to me. I sighed, “This journey is long and annoying. I can’t wait to see what it’s really about- the destination.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SECRET TUNNEL!!! THOUGH THE MOUNTAIN!!
> 
> lolz. ok I promise smut next chapter. I just needed to recover from kinktober for a minute. Happy Holidays friends!


	12. They won't get you like I will

-Azula-

I felt like I was suffocating. I tried to roll over, but I was sandwiched between what felt like a brick wall and a fluffy bundle. I liked to be warm, but this was excessive. I cracked my eye open to see why it felt like the room was about to burst into flames. 

The moon light filtered in. What I had thought was a fuzzy pillow, was actually Foo Foo Cuddly Pops. I could see his body shift with each deep breath he took. He was curled in next to me, and it felt incredibly rude to wake him. 

I tried to twist the other way, but a large heavy arm draped over me. 

_ Right.  _

My sleep addled brain recalled the events that led to this. 

We had trudged into the small town on the mountain side. A small inn was the only lodging choice. When we stepped into the building, the clerk looked absolutely appalled at our group- as if we were homeless vagabonds walking into the Ritz Carlton in Capital City, instead of a group of tired college students and a very large dog that had stumbled into a bed and breakfast in the middle of nowhere.

Chong was oblivious as he asked, “Do you have any rooms available, man?”

The snob on the other side of the counter rolled his eyes, “We have the honeymoon suite and a standard room available.”

Without missing a beat Chong grabbed Lily’s hand and piped up, “We’ll grab the honeymoon suite!” Lily let out a laugh as the receptionist handed them their room key. 

As they trailed up the stairs, I stepped up to the counter. I pushed one of my bangs behind my ear, “I hope the other room is  _ far  _ from theirs.”

The man’s eyes looked less harsh. “Yes, actually it is.” Sokka leaned over me to grab the key. I glared up at him as he invaded my personal space, but he ignored my irritation. He just always had to feel in charge.

We went up the stairs and turned in the opposite direction of Chong and Lily’s room. Sokka opened the door and we all tossed our bags down. 

Sokka promptly announced, “I’m gonna shower.” As he started grabbing his things, Moku chirped, “Need any company big guy?” Sokka grumbled and shook his head as he headed for the bathroom. 

I gave Moku a look and he responded, “Oh, don’t judge me Princess. Have you seen that man? Absolutely gorgeous. I would lick him like an ice cream cone.”

I sprawled out on the bed and Moku settled in on the sofa. I waved my hand dismissively, “Oh come on. He’s not that great.” He raised his arched brows at me, “You are probably the only person on campus who has not tried to climb that man. Ugh, the things I would let him do to me.” I wrinkled my nose, “Please do  _ not  _ elaborate further.”

He rolled his eyes and then pressed on, "He seems off lately though. Usually he'll at least flirt back with me." I bit the inside of my cheek. Sokka had at least seemed a little better since we had left campus. He didn't look as drained and lifeless as he had back at the apartment. I had impulsively agreed to the trip when I overheard Chong and Lily talking about it on the balcony. We had to get out of the apartment. Sokka was drowning in his depression and I wasn't equipped to drag him out of it.  I picked up shifts at the Jasmine Dragon, just for something to do, but when I came back to the apartment each evening the energy was oppressive. It was too easy to see Mother in Sokka's place. So I used my highly developed skill of annoyance, to prod him into coming to Ember Island for New Year's. 

When I didn't respond to Moku, he bent down and produced a bottle of wine from his bag. He pointed it in my direction, “Want some?” I answered, “Yes, after tonight. I could use it.” He got up and found some cups, “Shut up, you’re having fun.” I took a sip of the glass he handed me, “I could do without wandering aimlessly on the side of the mountain.”

He brushed off my comment, “Ohhh, let’s play never have I ever.” I flicked a piece of lint off the bed, “What are we five?” He coyly slipped his drink, “Shut up bitch, we’re playing.” He seemed to think for a moment, tapping his chin, “Never have I ever...made out with a girl.”

Damn it. I took a sip of my wine. He howled, “AZUULA! I knew it! I knew it!” Sokka picked that exact moment to come out of the bathroom. I threw a pillow at Moku to get him to shut up. Sokka raised his eyebrow at us. I took another sip of wine instead of dwelling on him in his post shower glory. Moku was right. Everyone was right. Sokka was ridiculously good looking. His hair was up in a wet bun. He was just in grey joggers and a light blue t-shirt, but he looked good. He looked relaxed, as if he didn't have the weight of the world on his shoulders anymore. 

Moku waved him over, “Come play with us, Daddy.” Sokka gave a small smile, “What’re we playing?” Moku poured Sokka a cup, “Never have I ever, it’s your turn.” Sokka gave him a look, but then settled on the bed and chewed his lip. He replied, “Never have I ever used flavored condoms.”

I looked at him, “That’s oddly specific.” Yet Moku was drinking. Sokka just shrugged and Moku cut in, “Alright, alright. Princess Azula. Your turn.” This was too easy. “Never have I ever kissed someone I just met.” Moku looked at me shocked, “Seriously?” I tapped his cup, “Drink up.”

Twenty minutes later, the bottle of wine was empty, the boys having drunk most of it. Moku had fallen asleep on the rather small couch. Foof was curled up in front of him on the carpet. I pulled up the blanket and slipped underneath. I glanced over at Sokka on the other side of the bed and then put a pillow in between us. 

He rolled his eyes, not looking up from his phone, “Oh please. As if this is the first time we’ve been in bed together.” I scoffed, “Nothing happened last time.” His blue eyes looked up at me, “Nothing’s happened between us? Not a single thing?” Moku was snoring loudly, but I still gestured to him and hissed in a whisper, “Can we not do this right now?”

“Do you want me to sleep on the floor, oh clever and beautiful Princess?” I let out an annoyed breath and rolled over. “Do what you want, Peasant.” Sokka might be fun to look at, but as soon as he opened his obtuse mouth he grated on my nerves, almost more than Zuzu did. 

I was brought back to the present as a heavy leg draped over the majority of my body. I tried to get free, but it was no use. Trying to move Sokka was trying to move an overgrown bear. I blew one of my bangs out of my face. I was overheating. How could the rest of them be sleeping like this?

I wiggled again and Sokka fully turned to spoon/crush me. This was it. This is how I would die- crushed to death by this scurvy companion. I felt his breath on my ear as he yawned and asked, “Did you just insult me in Shakespeare?”

I hadn’t realized I had said my last thought out loud. I sniffed, “I wouldn’t have to, if you weren’t suffocating me.” It felt like I cooled off my twenty degrees as he rolled to his side of the bed. So much for our pillow divider. He muttered, half asleep, “Thou art a boil, a plague sore.”

I sat up to bite back at him when Moku’s sleep laden voice croaked, “Fuck or go the fuck to sleep.” I glared at the Peasant and then curled into Foo Foo Cuddly Pops. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hi friends! Sorry for the long delay. I just went through this stage where I hated everything I was writing. 
> 
> But I wrote some one shots, did some reading and now I feel okay. I think in this fic in particular I kind of hate the pacing, but I told you it was gonna be a slow burn. We'll get to the smut I swear!
> 
> But yeah during my unintended hiatus I wandered into some other rarepairs and I learned that not every corner of the ATLA fandom is as nice as this one. So thanks for being so beautiful and accepting me as the trash panda I am. 
> 
> I felt like such a troll writing the but there was only one bed trope, but it sparked joy for me. 
> 
> The front desk clerk is based off of Michel from Gilmore Girls (I stan bitchy gays). And Azula would be loved by bitchy gays, hence her friendship with Moku.


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